Rite Aid Cleveland (Half) Marathon!

Everybody gets a medal!

I had a few times in mind going into my first ever half-marathon race. After being unable to get my "ideal" time out of my head, I decided on using my degree for my own benefit - I created a series of goals: A, B, C, and D, with A being something amazing that would happen if everything were just right and D being something that would happen regardless of the conditions, assuming I was physically able to move.

Anyway, that was one accomplishment. Another was the starting line. Starting lines have always been an emotional place for me. Typically, the angrier I was, the better I raced. I knew in this situation, the more nostalgic I was, the faster I would go out. (This was 100% accurate.) Interestingly, I ran the first five or so miles on pure adrenaline, which was enjoyable. It was no longer enjoyable when I arrived at about mile seven with lactic acid building up in my legs, but even that was a feeling that I missed. Although, I could have gotten my fill of that feeling and then some in a minute rather than for half of a 13.1 mile race. I was getting such a rush from passing people and feeling like I was moving up that in spite of the rational, experienced runner side of me insisting that I back off, I just kept going at a pace that was a wee bit out of my league. I did miss that oh-so compelling little voice of the idealistic runner in me innocently asking, "What if this pace doesn't fry your legs?" But the voice needs to place itself in the last half of the run rather than the first. There's a lot to be said for finishing stronger than you start.

Overall, this was an educational experience. It made me question how I trained, how I fuel my body, and how my relationship with running has evolved. Until Sunday, one of the toughest things I've done in my running career was to actually sign up for a race. Now, I would have to say that showing up and actually running the race was the toughest thing I've done in my running career. There were a lot of negative and haunting thoughts throughout the race, but not as many as I thought there would be. Particularly, throughout the week before, I kept wondering how many people I would see that would think I was a "fat has-been." For the record, I saw very few people I knew and did not feel any of them were thinking "fat has-been."

The absolute best thing about this race was that it was only the beginning. Yes, it was the culmination of a 16-week self-improvement project, but I've already filled in much of an Excel sheet with my summer plans, objectives, and I've even scoped out a few possible races to run in the upcoming months... 5Ks to be exact. Speed workouts will be coming in mid-July! In short, I have big plans for the next couple years - that's how long I expect it will take to reform my identity as runner. This time, I suspect it'll be significantly more balanced and different, neither better nor worse regardless of times, placement, or distances. The objectivity I've historically loved about running has been my worst enemy during my reintroduction to the sport. A second is always a second and a mile is always a mile, unless, of course, it's 1600 meters. It's challenging to know what I've done and fail to compare it to what I'm doing. Regardless of what anyone says, it is not apples and oranges. It's simply time and distance.

So I have a lot of new stuff going on...summer camp, full-time job hunt, finishing my research project, figuring out what to do with my life, learning to live at home with my parents for a while... Mini projects for the week are learn the operational definitions for STP and get the freaking interviews transcribed for my project! I've been procrastinating...or taking a little hiatus from the demands of academic work, whichever you prefer.